


Glitter in the Air

by UisceOneLove



Series: The Super Store AU No One Asked For [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Ben is alive here, Dancing, Klaus being Klaus, M/M, Non-powered world, Super Store AU, They are not all related here, This probably counts as harassment if they weren't dating, klaus is horrible at his job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 04:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18564295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UisceOneLove/pseuds/UisceOneLove
Summary: Klaus is bored, it's late in his world, so this means trouble. Obviously. Watch out everyone around him.





	Glitter in the Air

**Author's Note:**

> So I mixed Super Store with working at a craft store since that's where my own experience currently comes from and because I'd rather think about Klaus playing with feather boas or using his employee discount for bundles of yarn than a grocery store.
> 
> Enjoy at your leisure.

Nothing was worse than working a full shift mid-way through the week. There weren’t any customers, the mandatory store playlist already played itself out _three_ times, and that meant being _bored out of his fucking mind_. Klaus didn’t even have any stock to put up. Not that he would do it, he’d pass it off to Vanya since she was so much better at it. Or “Five”. Who the hell names their kid after a number?

Was Five old enough to be working? Were they breaching child labor laws?

“There’re a lot of easier ways to smother yourself than with a countertop. We literally have pillows in aisle sixty-three.” The voice paused. “Please don’t make this be the part where I ask you to not be the idiot who kills himself with throw pillows from aisle sixty-three.”

Klaus looked up at his roommate-slash-bestie-slash-brethren cashier Ben. It was an evil look. Ben should not be scoffing at his evil look, damn him.

“I could use some yarn and hang from the top rail of the push-ladder,” he challenged for the hell of it.

Ben hopped up on the adjacent counter-space and pulled out his latest book from under the register. Something that Vanya was working on apparently. About violins or something? Smart girl, really quiet, Klaus hoped for her sake she’d get somewhere unlike the rest of them. No one wanted to work at Super Cloud Craft Store forever.

“Or you could use the feather boas,” Ben offered.

Klaus straightened with a gasp. “Don’t you dare say such a thing about the boas! They are too precious to be used that way!”

“You’re saying cheap boas are worth more than your own life?”

“Do not twist my words here, Benjamin!”

“Doesn’t count as twisting words when you pretty much said it yourself, Klaus.”

“I don’t have to take this,” Klaus said indignantly, “I’m going to sweep stuff. Far away from you.”

“He can still use the radio, dimwit,” Five interjected with disinterest as he organized the candy.

“Isn’t it already past your bedtime, Fivey?” Klaus asked the boy sweetly, batting his lashes against the death glare.

“I’m sixteen, not nine. And don't call me Fivey, I don't have the patience for your condescending pet names.”

“Oh really? That's a shame. But don’t worry, it’s normal for some boys to hit puberty late. I’m sure you’ll get yours soon.”

“You—”

“I’ll tell Dolores to wait for you. I know that male mannequin was giving her some flex but he doesn’t stand a chance against your charms.”

“Don’t you dare touch her!”

The brunet winked a beautifully lined eye and skipped away from the prepubescent. Ben can cheer the little one up with a soda.

Klaus was able to quickly find the big sweeper broom in its place tucked in the corner of the replenishment room. He pushed through the swinging doors and plucked his beautiful treasure that was a first generation iPod in all its chunky goodness from his pocket. There was no chance in hell he’d clean to Shawn Mendes when the song’s already played five times today.

He took out the earpiece to his radio and slipped the earbuds into place and scrolled through his many choices. Britney was too good for this place, Usher was too sexy for an empty store. Oh! He knew just who to use.

There was really only one woman who knew how to get Klaus in the mood.

   


_I’m feeling sexy and free_

_Like glitter’s raining on me_

   


That’s right, Jessie, time to bring it! Klaus was pushing the broom through the aisles with a delightful sway to his hips.

   


_I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air_

_Now I’m breathin like I’m runnin cuz you’re taking me there_

   


He let the pop goddess rock his world and clean this cheap hall of craft supplies. Each hit of the beat made his hips bump or feet glide that much more. By the time he wound up in the Creatology supplies in the kid’s section, Klaus was ready to let the music explode from his body.

 

_Rock my world into the sunlight_

_Make this dream the best I’ve ever known_

_Dirty dancing in the moonlight_

_Take me down like I’m a domino_

Klaus yanked a bottle of cobalt glitter from the stack, yanked off the top, and splashed the air around him with the tiny speckles of color like a tasteful rainstorm.

 

_Every second is a highlight_

 

He spun around with the broom, getting into the groove of his dance.

 

_When we touch don’t ever let me go_

 

He needed to let this pop queen free!

 

_Dirty dancing in the moonlight_

 

Needed to let loose and be fancy-free and all that good stuff! He needed to— 

“What. The hell. Did you do?”

Well, that voice sounded way too angry to be part of Jessie’s enthusiastic and sexy ballad. Not that Diego’s voice didn’t hold a sexiness of his own. It did plenty of enthusiastic things when Klaus was having those Dreams.

Except right now. Where Klaus wasn’t Dreaming.

Klaus quickly yanked the earbuds out as he faced his assistant manager with a big smile.

“Diego! What a lovely surprise!”

Diego was a master at staring someone down without showing his disappointment but still making sure you _felt_ that he was disappointed. Or maybe it was annoyance. Klaus was good at confusing those. Or did he confuse it was sexual frustration?

“—Of course you’re not listening to me. Seriously, Klaus, get your head of your ass!”

“Hey, who said anything about asses?” Klaus asked innocently with a shrug. “I’ve always said yours is nice, but I thought that was supposed to be an inappropriate subject here at work between two colleagues?”

Diego pinched the bridge of his nose and clenched his jaw. It was another sexy thing, looking at that jaw get all jumpy and tight. It made that scar above the Latino's ear stand out even more.

Klaus wanted to run his tongue along that scar. And all the other ones.

“Clean this shit up.” Diego turned away from him. “And it’s coming out of your paycheck.”

“Don’t be like that D-Bear,” Klaus cried out with a pout.

“Nickname means you’re sleeping at your own place tonight.”

Diego didn’t even turn around.

“Now isn’t that just harsh? What’s wrong with our love?” Klaus was met with the stare of a new and silent customer. It was like the old woman had never seen a lover’s spat before!

“It’s rude to watch, Grandma Ovid, I didn’t give my consent.” Klaus met her with his patented You’re A Bitch Customer smile and turned away, but not until she had the decency to look affronted.

The thing about glitter, and Klaus knows this from many eye makeup experiments, is that it’s a true bitch to clean up. He might’ve been better off thinking about that before he splashed the floor with it like a Trilli painting, but that’s what Ben was around for.

Try as he might, Klaus could not get all of the glitter swept up into the dustpan. Until it’s professionally cleaned, the floor of the Creatology aisle would be as sparkly as the pavement in San Francisco.

When Diego came back to inspect the job before closing it was with the confirming result that Klaus wasn’t forgiven.

“Come on, it was just a pet name,” Klaus argued.

“We’re at work, Klaus, I don’t need everyone hearing it,” Diego sighed. “I’ll have to leave a note for Luther about this mess. He’s going to gripe about the cleaning bill. You know I don’t want to deal with his whiny griping, Klaus.”

“He’ll get over it,” Klaus waved off. A bribe to Allison might help with that. But that’s not the important thing. “What if I call you The Kraken? Would that make you feel better?”

“That would _definitely_ not make me feel better!” Diego hissed.

Klaus stepped closer and played with the chord to the man’s earpiece. “Why not? It’s sexy.”

Diego whacked Klaus’ hand away, which was very insulting, thank you. “We are not talking about this here.”

“So then we’ll be talking about it later?” Klaus pressed with a smirk. “Is there going to be any punishment involved?”

With the look he was getting, Klaus was definitely getting punished and he couldn’t wait.

* * *

   


The next morning, Klaus’s station at the registers was stacked with items.

“These need to be marked for clearance and put up,” Luther informed him as he handed over the sticker gun. “Diego said you’d be ‘more than happy’ to take care of it for Vanya.”

This was _not_ the punishment Klaus was talking about.


End file.
